


What if?

by musikfurfreiheit



Category: Tarja, Within Temptation (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4977040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musikfurfreiheit/pseuds/musikfurfreiheit





	What if?

The smile on her face felt way too fake as she laid her arm around the interviewer’s shoulders. She was tired, both physically and mentally, and wasn’t in the mood to even see other people. As soon as the camera was lowered Sharon stepped aside and left the room after the interviewer had thanked her. The backstage of the festival was a labyrinth but eventually she found the way to their tour bus. Goosebumps appeared on her arms as she stepped outside, immediately fastening her pace as the cold hit her.

Aside from the few crewmembers that were watching some kind of stupid movie, Sharon was the only one in the bus. The noises of the television faded as she as she climbed the stairs and her sigh sounded loud in the almost-silence that hung between the bunk beds. Carefully she sat down on her bed before kicking out her shoes and laying down. The sheets underneath her felt soft and comfortable and for a moment Sharon wondered if 8 pm was too early to go to bed.

Her peaceful moment was ended as she heard the guys outside the bus and with a sigh she turned her back to the hallway. With her eyes closed she went looking for her iPod that had to be somewhere above her bed, but her eyes opened as her fingers brushed over a wrinkled piece of paper. Sharon already wasn’t feeling great, but now the urge to cry was also added to it.

The singer sat up as she took the note from its hiding spot. The voices of the musicians didn’t reach her anymore as she saw the graceful handwriting. It was only her and the note in her own little world within her bunk, as if the curtain next to her bed separated her from the real world.

The note looked vulnerable in its wrinkled state, but it didn’t lower the amount of emotions that was attached to it. This piece of yellow paper was one of Sharon’s most treasured possessions. It was not the color of the paper, not the graceful handwriting nor the message that was written on it, it were the memories. It was _hers._ Tears were stinging as Sharon’s finger stroke the graceful letters, but she fought them as the curtain next to her was carefully pulled aside.

‘Are you okay?’ Ruud whispered as she didn’t look up.

Sharon shook her head. No, she was not okay. Once again she’d gotten homesick to a non-existing place and she was unable to hide it any longer. Ruud sat down next to her and carefully wrapped an arm around her waist while Sharon kept longing for a pair of arms that would never embrace her again.

‘It’s hers, isn’t it?’

‘It’s the only thing I’ve left of her.’ The tears were clearly noticeable in her voice as she leaned her head on the guitarist’s shoulder.

‘It has been 5 years.’

‘I know, but I keep wondering “What if?”.’ Sharon sighed. ‘What if I had chosen her over my career? What if she’d chosen me? What if we’d fought for both? What if one of our careers had failed? What if… she doesn’t love me anymore?’

‘What if you don’t love her anymore?’ Ruud quietly suggested. ‘You and Tarja haven’t seen or even talked to each other in such a long time. You love the idea of her, you can’t know if you still love her.’

‘But I miss her.’

‘What if you could turn back time?’ Ruud asked after a few seconds of silence. ‘What if you had the chance to choose again, what would you choose? Tarja or the band?’

‘I don’t know… I love being on stage, but right now I just want her to hold me.’

‘You can’t have both Sharon. The two of you chose a career above a life with each other and you can’t reverse that. She probably has moved on and so should you. You don’t know if you still love each other.’

Sharon didn’t answer him anymore. They just sat in silence while Sharon kept her eyes on the note in her hand, her fingers still stroking the words she read so many times.

 

_I love you  
x Tarja_

What if it was still true?


End file.
